Yesterday, I had a meeting with one of my coaching clients shortly after my afternoon hospice shift. Though I’d taken a little time to debrief with the wonderful volunteer who was replacing me, still the losses of the preceding week and my conversations with the current residents were still fresh in my mind (and my heart). After I’d shared with my client that it had been a bit of a rugged shift, she asked me this question: “Do you volunteer there because you know that you are helping other people? Or do you get something out of it for yourself?”
I suspect most of us have been asked this question at some point. And certainly I’ve asked it of other volunteers in my research. My own answer is always the same: “I get an enormous amount from this work. I suspect I get more than I give.” My client, however, is infinitely curious about what makes people tick, so she asked me to elaborate on what I get from volunteering. Answering in specifics without resorting to platitudes or breaching confidentiality can be a bit tricky.
I explained as best I could: at hospice I get to see people rising to their best selves – the people who are facing their own deaths and the families and friends who show up to care for them. Not everyone, of course, and not all the time. But in truth, I see very little rancour at hospice. Virtually no arguments. I see lots of people who are exhausted from the hard work of caregiving, but they continue to show up day after day for the people they love. They stay overnight, sleeping on roll-away cots. They prepare special food they hope will tantalize – and they cope with the sadness when eating is no longer possible.
Given all the examples of people showing up in ways that are petty, violent, selfish and self-serving which surround us every day – we need only turn on the news to see this, especially during election time! – the scenes I witness at hospice are restorative. I always walk away at the end of my shift thinking about the amazing people I’ve met and the remarkable conversations I’ve had. I think about the joy and appreciation the resident in Room 9 showed as she ate a bowl of chocolate ice cream. I think of the courage and composure of the patient who told me “I’m ready” – as she faces her death.
I think of the volunteers too – the woman who shows up on the hottest day of the year to spend three hours at the reception desk. She will be the first person a new resident will meet – she will greet the patient and their family knowing how important it is to be welcoming. I think of the garden volunteers who tend to the beautiful gardens where day hospice guests and residents spend precious time with their families and friends. I think of the volunteer who sits by the bedside of a dying man, so his daughter can leave for a bit.
These people are the reason I volunteer in hospice care.
For those of you who are hospice volunteers (or other sorts of volunteers) I’d love to hear your reasons. Please feel free to share!
Thank you Katherine for this beautiful and succinct explanation of why volunteers do what they do. May I reblog it on volunteerplaintalk?
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Of course you can reblog it! Thanks!
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I volunteer for some of the same reasons as others who give freely of our time to share love with others. I get to take a reality check and reflect on how grateful I am to be alive and healthy. I get a chance to give back for all that I have been given. I always come away uplifted after having given to someone else because others have been there for me in my times of need. Whether I read or sit quietly, whether I relieve a caretaker or sit and talk with them while they are taking care of someone or share a story, I always feel joy that I have added something good to the world. As long as I can share a smile or warm the heart by a kind word I will continue to volunteer. The return smiles make it all worthwhile.
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Thanks for this great comment, Katherine. When I was interviewing volunteers about why they volunteer in hospice care, many of them told me “it’s an honour” – the other word they used was “privilege.” I feel the same way – that it is a privilege to be allowed into people’s lives and to be able to serve in whatever capacities we can.
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Reblogged this on volunteerplaintalk and commented:
Just wanted to share this wonderful post about why volunteers do what they do. We are fortunate to work with dedicated, creative, selfless people who care deeply about the people we serve. Enjoy.
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Reblogged this on Volunteering Counts.
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