Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘sisters’

As anyone who knows me (and that includes readers of this blog, of course), I am not a person who believes that everything happens for a reason. Whether it’s a death, the loss of a close friend, a job, or a house, the onset of a serious illness – the list is long for the events for which some people are determined to find a “silver lining.” When my mother suffered a massive brain aneurysm, when my sister was diagnosed with terminal cancer, and on many other occasions in my life, well intentioned friends and acquaintances would attempt to console me with the thought that even these devastating events happened for a reason.

Most of the time I’ve managed to control myself enough not to lash out (or worse) at these people. Instead, I point out that terrible things rarely if ever happen for a reason. Rather, what matters is what we make of the situation – how we come to terms with it, how we respond, how we make meaning in our lives. Readers here will know that the experience of my sister’s death transformed me in ways I am still coming to understand. My ability to be with suffering and death, my passion for hospice palliative care, my commitment to helping others deal with illness and dying, all stem from caring for Carol when she was dying. So too do my meditation practice, my writing and speaking about caregiving, and my heightened intuitive sense of the suffering of others.

Carol’s death didn’t create these things, of course – nor are they the “reason” she died. But they are part of the meaning I found in the aftermath of losing her.

On July 4th, it will be the 20th anniversary of my sister’s death. I’m not sure yet how I will honour her  (though I do know I have a hospice shift that day, which seems like a fitting way to celebrate her!) No doubt, I’ll write something, as I have so often in the past 20 years. And I’ll remember, with enormous gratitude, all the things my big sister taught me in our 47 years together.

 

 

Read Full Post »

A piece I wrote about my sister Carol was excerpted in The Caregiver’s Voice today.
Here’s the link:
http://thecaregiversvoice.com/avadian-musings/we-will-remember-you/

I’ve written lots of blog posts in the past few days – alas, all in my head, as I’ve been caring for my sweet little grandson who is under the weather (with a fever! in this heat!)

More to come soon….
Katherine

Read Full Post »

BREVITY's Nonfiction Blog

(Somewhat) Daily News from the World of Literary Nonfiction

From Saving to Sending

Hospice Isn’t Just About Dying

The Haul Out

Considering Seals and Other Shore-Strewn Items

Te Arai Research Group

Palliative Care & End of Life Research - New Zealand

Hospice is Not a Dirty Word

-A Hospice Nurse Speaks

volunteerplaintalk

for today's leaders of volunteers

Last Comforts

Notes from the Forefront of Late-Life Care

offbeatcompassion

Quirky stories and essays imbued with compassion as saffron suffuses rice with fragrance and color

Your Own Good Death

thoughts and experiences from being an End of Life Specialist

Eaton Hamilton

"I cannot and will not cut my conscience to fit this year’s fashions.” – Lillian Hellman

BIRTH AND DEATH AND IN BETWEEN

Reflections from my life as a mother, grandmother, midwife, farmer, buddhist, teacher, vagabond and hospice nurse...

The fragile and the wild

Ethics, ecology and other enticements for a stalled writer

Heart Poems

How poetry can speak to you

Linda Vanderlee • Living Aligned

Personal, Leadership & Team Development

Writingalife's Blog

Just another WordPress.com weblog

yourcoachingbrain

Just another WordPress.com site

Hospice Volunteering

A blog about volunteering in hospice care